Shawn Hollywood
by David Ginsberg
Summary: Shawn gets Eric a guest part in the TV show Kid Encounters the Universe, and flies out to Hollywood with him. Continues the series that starts with Everlong; direct sequel to Rearviewmirror. Borrows heavily from Eric Hollywood.
1. Chapter 1

Jack came home to find Shawn working at the computer. "You're working? It's the first day of summer, you should be out having fun with your friends."

"Everybody's tied up," Shawn explained, "Andy got a summer job at a vineyard in Napa Valley, Kenny's visiting his dad in Rochester, Angela's visiting her dad in Ramstein, Kim Sussman's still mad at me about inviting Cory to her nose party, Kristen's grounded, Debra's on a family vacation to see her grandparents in Vietnam, Nick's counseling at a summer camp in Maine, Alexis found Jesus, Alice is in rehab, Martha got pregnant, Jeff overdosed, Freddie's in a psych ward after he tried to jump off the Franklin Bridge, Dawson Leery moved back in with his dad in Massachusetts, Jordan Catalano got back together with his girlfriend in Pittsburgh, and Corpanga is…" Shawn gestured to the couch, where Cory and Topanga were aggressively making out… "Corpanga."

"Man, you have a weird circle of friends." Jack observed.

"I don't have a weird circle of friends," Shawn objected, "I have an edgy circle of friends, and Corpanga."

Topanga came up for air "Shawn and Cory's other friends don't get along," she explained, "Cory's friends think Shawn's a juvenile delinquent and Shawn's friends think Cory's a weirdo."

"Wait, Cory has other friends?"

Cory sat up on the couch "Cheryl's at church camp, Pam's at Hebrew camp, Judy's at regular camp, Tom's a camp counselor, Randy Williams is working with a summer tutoring program in South Philly, Randy Taylor went to Guatemala, Kimmy Gibler moved back to San Francisco, and my pen-pal Urkel's coming for two weeks in July."

Shawn threw an arm around Jack. "I'm going to be out of town for two weeks in July."

"Where ya' going?"

"Don't know yet."

"How's Los Angeles sound?"

Shawn looked back at Cory. "This Urkel kid's from Chicago, right?"

"Yeah."

"Los Angeles sounds great."

"How about Amy?"

"Mrs. Matthews?"

"Yeah."

"Why her?"

"Schulman and Schuster wants both of you guys to do a few talk shows to promote your new books."

"We'll have to ask her."

They drove Cory and Topanga back to the Matthews' house, and Jack explained the company's offer to Amy.

"I'm not sure if I should go for a whole two weeks." Amy responded.

Shawn leaned over the counter. "It'll be the two week's Cory's pen pal's here."

"Sold, and I'm taking Alan."


	2. Chapter 2

As the most junior account director at Keller-Marsden, Shawn got stuck with all the crappy clients. This particular client, the Parents' Council Against Tobacco, kept trying to negotiate their prices down with the excuse that they were a non-profit and Keller-Marsden had a "social obligation" to cut them a deal. It didn't help matters that the president's daughter was Cory's friend Cheryl.

"Mrs. Jenkins," Shawn shook her hand.

"Mr. Hunter." She sat down. "I'll get right to the point. PCAT is extremely concerned about subliminal pro-smoking messages in films marketed to children." She went on to catalogue a list of product placements for cigarette brands in movies, several of which Shawn had negotiated.

"And what can Keller-Marsden do to help?" Shawn asked with forced politeness.

"We want to name and shame the films that are doing this. We've previewed upcoming movies to identify smoking incidents, and we want you to design a television campaign warning parents not to let their children see those specific movies."

Shawn sat back in his chair. "That's an excellent idea, Mrs. Jenkins. I do have one slight concern." Shawn's real concern was that Keller-Marsden was trying to get business from movie studios, and running attack ads against their films probably wasn't a good way to do it. "The strategy you're proposing could accidentally make the films more attractive to your target audience, sort of forbidden fruit."

"So what do you propose instead?"

"You fight fire with fire. We can work with some studios to get anti-smoking plotlines in youth-oriented programming."

"How much will it cost?"

"Product placement that affects the plotline can go up to 200 grand for a feature film, that's on top of our rate, of course."

"Of course. Is there any way we could bring that down a little, maybe do television?"

"For a kids show you could maybe go down to 60."

"We can do 40, unless you're willing to come down on the billing."

"I can try to find a co-sponsor."

A few phone calls later Shawn had secured a contract with the makers of Nicorette and a role for both the gum and Eric on _Kid Gets Acquainted with the Universe._ He drove home to tell Eric the good news.

Eric offered a joint to Shawn as he walked in the door.

"Want some?"

"No thanks, Jack's still got me on that 60-day sobriety plan."

"Rough."

"You're telling me, anyway. You know how everybody liked you in that production of _Romeo and Juliet."_

Eric stood up and assumed a dramatic pose. "These violent delights have violent ends/and in their triumph die, like fire and powder/which, as they kiss, consume."

"Right, so you know that show Morgan likes, _Kid Gets Acquainted with the Universe?"_

"The one with your brother."

"Eric, he's not my brother."

"Hey, I'm right here you know!" Jack called from the computer.

"I wasn't talking about you," Shawn responded, "Eric thinks the kid from this TV show is my long-lost brother."

"They look _exactly_ alike." Eric explained, "It's freaky."

"We just have the same haircut. Anyway we're doing this product placement for one of my charity clients, and the guy mentioned they were looking for an actor to play the long-lost older brother."

"Long-lost like you and Schneider Long!" Eric interrupted, "Hey, this means there's a 50 percent chance he's Jack's brother too!"

Jack shook his head. "I've already got a long-lost brother, I don't think I can handle any more."

Shawn looked at Jack. "I've told you about Casper, right?"

"No, who's he?"

"What about Stacy?"

"Name rings a bell but I don't remember anything specific."

"You might want to sit down for this."


	3. Chapter 3

Cheryl Jenkins was mildly intrigued when her mother announced that they were going on a trip to California with Shawn Hunter. He was a boy she would never admit an interest in to her friends, but California was on the other side of the country, and none of her friends would be there. Now, it was all moot, as his current girlfriend was traveling with them. In fact, Shawn sat between them on the plane, with Cheryl by the window and Angela in the aisle. Still, Cheryl would get to meet Schneider Long, her celebrity crush, and who knew what those Hollywood stars got up to when the cameras were off.

Eager to find out, Cheryl perused a copy of _Tiger Beat_ with Schneider on the cover as the plane took off. She had to stifle a shriek when Eric poked his head over the seat back.

"He looks like Shawn, doesn't he?" Eric asked.

" _I_ certainly don't think so." Cheryl was overcompensating somewhat for her disappointment that Angela had shown up for the trip.

"Eric's come up with this theory that I'm Schneider Long's long-lost brother."

"That's ridiculous. Schneider's _sweet."_

Angela snorted but didn't say anything.

"…and smart. It says here he speaks, like, five languages."

Eric grinned at Shawn.

"Lots of people speak more than one language," Shawn grumbled.

Cheryl turned back to her but finished it pretty quickly. She was forced to spend the rest of the flight listening to Shawn and Angela discuss somebody named Kerouac, which cured her of any lingering attraction to him.

The plane landed and a limo drove them to the studio. A producer led them into a room where the cast of _Kid Gets Acquainted With The Universe_ was seated around a conference table and started making introductions. Cheryl forced herself not to squeal when he introduced Schneider.

"Umm…Nice to meet you." Schneider muttered, staring at his shoes.

"My name's Cheryl. I've um, just finished reading the new article about you in _Tiger Beat."_ She showed him her copy of the magazine for emphasis.

"Oh." Schneider took the magazine and autographed it before handing it, wordlessly, back to Cheryl.

Danica Fischer hugged Cheryl. "Hi! So nice to meet you! You'll have to excuse Schneider, he's a broken bird." She hugged Schneider.

"Is he broken because his dad…" Eric started to ask.

Shawn interrupted him. "Careful how you finish that question."

The producer clapped his hands. "All right! Let's get started."

Everybody sat down, with Eric making sure that Shawn, rather than Cheryl, sat next to Schneider, and then sat down directly across them, framing their faces with his fingers.

The producer clapped his hands again. "Alright, Mr. Hunter and Mrs. Jenkins are going to explain our tobacco story line and then we can do the reading with Eric."

Cheryl's mom gave her standard PCAT speech, and then Shawn got up and explained the plot line. They were going to have Schneider's character, Shane, quit smoking after a girl dumped him for having bad breath. In all the years her mother had been running PCAT, Cheryl had never heard her use making out as a reason to quit smoking, but it sounded like something Shawn would come up with.


	4. Chapter 4

The first talk show they'd been booked for was _Politically Incorrect_. Nobody'd told Jack that they'd also booked Millie McConnell.

Somebody yelled 'Action!' and the host began the introductions. "So this is a somewhat unusual show in that all of our guests knew each other before coming on the show. Amy Matthews is the author of _A Weekend in Cape Cod,_ out now from Schulman and Schuster." Amy smiled at the camera, "Eric Matthews is her son and will be appearing in the next season of _Kid Gets Acquainted With the Universe_ on this network Friday evenings at 8:30, 9:30 Central." Eric smiled at the wrong camera, "S.P. Hunter, can I call you Shawn?

"Sure, Bill."

"…is the author of _Looking for James Dean,_ in stores now, and Eric's roommate back in Philadelphia. Jack Connor is the creator of , Eric's other roommate, and Shawn's half-brother. Now Millie McConnell, who we all know and love, dated Jack before discovering Jesus." The host turned to Jack. "What was that like?"

"It was great until she tried to sacrifice me." The audience laughed.

"You never mentioned the sacrifice before."

"That's actually why I left Satanism, Bill."

The host looked at Jack, who had obviously not been sacrificed, "It didn't work, did it?"

"I wore sunscreen," Eric explained, earning himself strange looks from his mother, Millie and the host.

Millie explained the initial logic behind her sacrifice. Apparently, Shawn had been the original intended victim, since the spell called for a hunter. Eric made a quip about Shawn always getting handcuffed by somebody's ex.

When they came back from the commercial break the topic turned to the official subject of the show, premarital sex. Millie announced that she was a "born-again virgin."

"How exactly does that work?"

"I've recommitted my life to Christ, Jack, and you should too."

"Thanks, I'll think I'll pass."

"It'll fill the hole in your life, Jack." Millie was starting to remind Jack of her witch persona.

"Is this a Millie-shaped hole?"

"No, you see Jack never had a real family." Jack knew exactly what Millie was going to do: throw as much as she knew about Jack and Shawn's childhoods in their faces and then announce that Jesus would make a perfect surrogate for their absentee father.

"That's not any of your goddamn business." Jack snarled. Millie was taken aback

Jack turned to the host. "Maybe we should cut to a commercial break."


	5. Chapter 5

Angela sat up in bed next to Shawn, who was on the phone with Cory. She'd given up on getting any action tonight.

The conversation centered on Cory's mysterious pen pal. "…How's Urkel?...He has an alter ego now?...No, whatever you do, do _not_ bring Urkel out here…"

"So who is this Urkel character? Angela asked when Shawn had finally hung up.

"Picture Minkus without the brains, and way more outgoing."

Angela pointed to Shawn's notebook. "So do I ever get to read any of those poems?"

"Nobody gets to read those poems. I don't know why I even hold on to them. You ready for bed?"

"Sure."

The next day Shawn had meetings with potential clients all day, leaving Angela to hit the pool and then the stores on the strip with Cheryl. It wasn't her preferred choice of companion, but they got along alright.

Shawn returned in high spirits. He had apparently landed contracts with ABC and Oahu Beach Face Savers. They both went upstairs and changed for a party they'd been invited to by one of Keller-Marsden's VPs in Los Angeles. Angela wore a slinky red dress that Shawn had gotten her as a 'sorry-for-going-batshit-crazy-when-we've-been-dating-for-like-four-months' gift. Shawn wore a standard-issue tux, which was an unusual look for him.

Angela couldn't quite suppress a giggle. "You look good."

"Thanks, I kind of feel like a waiter though."

"You've got a little Pierce Brosnan thing going."

Angela didn't find any of the other people at the party particularly interesting, but it was exciting to be all dressed up and making small talk over champagne flutes and fancy hors d'oeuvres. Besides, Shawn was in his element schmoozing with the assorted businessmen and trophy wives. He had nothing in common with them, and Angela was sure that they'd turn up their noses if they knew anything about his personal life, but Shawn was able to impress them with a rented tux and the force of his personality.

The party ended early and Angela realized that her feet were starting to hurt. She kicked her heels off in the limo on the way back to the hotel, while Shawn undid his tie.

"I'm still hungry."

"Yeah, those shrimp puffs were more puff than shrimp."

"You want to go get a hot dog somewhere?"

Shawn ran a hand through his hair. "How about room service?"


	6. Chapter 6

Jack sat nervously across a conference table from a panel of venture capitalists.

"So what exactly does this company do?" the managing director asked.

Jack smiled and launched his rehearsed presentation. " leverages the power of the information superhighway to deliver a 21st-century lifestyle experience for Generation X."

"Did you say ImJack…dot-com?"

"Yes."

"Sold!." The managing director stood up and shook Jack's hand. "We'll take a 30 percent stake at a 40 million valuation."

"Pleasure doing business with you."

Jack went back to the hotel to change out of his suit, and ran into Alan Matthews in the lobby.

"How ya' doin, Alan."

"Oh, been worse. How'd your meeting go."

"They bought it."

"Really? I mean, um…good for you!"

"You know what they say, 'can't go wrong with a dot-com.'"

"I guess so."

"You seen Shawn? I want to tell him the good news."

"He's, uhhh…over there." Alan pointed to the corner of the lobby, where Shawn and Eric were standing with Ben Sandwich, Angela, and a woman who appeared to be a hooker.

Shawn saw Jack and mouthed "help me," so Jack walked over to the group.

"You've got something on your nose," he informed Ben.

"Thanks," Ben wiped his nose and sniffed. "You're Zach, right?"

"Jack."

Ben turned around, "He's Jack, everybody."

"Hey, so Shawn and I have to go, um, look for our Dad."

"You can't go now," Eric objected, "we were just about to go to Schneider's house."

"Who's Schneider?"

"Don't ask." Shawn muttered.

"My creepy weirdo costar." Ben explained.

"And your brother" Eric interjected, "or half-brother. We're about to go to his house for the big reveal."

"What reveal?"

"Of the DNA test."

"You got a DNA test?"

"Shawn didn't believe me."

"How'd you get our DNA?"

"I snuck into your rooms when you were sleeping."

"You what?"

"Anyway, let's go!"

"Ok…are we taking" Jack turned to the hooker, "sorry, I didn't get your name."

"Chastity."

"Ok, are we taking Chastity?"

"She can have my place," Angela volunteered.

"Oh, no." Eric yanked her back into the group, "you have to meet your new brother-in-law."

"Umm…Eric" Shawn remonstrated, "we're just dating."

"Yeah, yeah whatever."

Jack insisted on driving, so Ben rode shotgun and gave him directions. They got lost three times.

Eric rang the doorbell and Schneider came to the door. As soon as he saw Ben, he yelped and ran upstairs.

Eric let himself in, and the rest of the gang followed him.

A woman Jack assumed to be Ms. Long emerged from the kitchen.

"Can I help you people?"

"We're here for Schneider," Eric explained. "These are his long-lost brothers."

"Brothers?"

"Well, half-brothers. They have the same father."

"I don't want anything to do with Schneider's father."

"Oh, come on. He needs brothers."

"No, I remember the day I left. I told him 'Chet," Shawn and Jack both groaned, "if you don't leave that tramp Virna it'll be the last you see of me."

"Well I've got good news for you, then." Eric replied, "Jack got a restraining order until Shawn's 18th birthday."

"And watch who you call a tramp." Shawn barked.

They went upstairs and opened the door to Schneider's bedroom.

"What do you want from me? And where's Ben?"

"Uhhh…I think he stayed downstairs with the hooker," Jack responded. "Look, if I'd known you existed, I would have gotten on a bus and found you."

"What?"

Shawn realized that Schneider was a few pages behind everybody else. "Eric, just give him the DNA tests."

Schneider read the tests and then looked up. "You guys are my brothers?"

"Umm…Just me and Shawn. Eric's…Eric."


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Shawn got up early, accidentally waking up Angela in the process.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked sleepily.

"Maybe next time."

"I'll be here when you get back."

"Thanks."

The taxi took Shawn down Santa Monica Boulevard and turned on to the 405. They turned off the 110 onto a street of payday lenders and self-storage warehouses. The driver gave Shawn a knowing look in the rearview mirror when they arrived at the address.

"You got a girl works here?"

"My mother."

"Oh, er…my apologies."

"Leave the meter running."

"Sure thing."

The driver waited until Shawn was safely out of earshot. "And he's stayin' at the Peninsula. It's a hell of a country."

Shawn waited outside the backdoor, wishing he smoked. Somehow that was the one form of adolescent misbehavior Cory had managed to talk him out of. Virna came out a few minutes later with her hair still teased up. Tentatively, she hugged her son.

"You came."

"Yeah, it's my last day out here. I figured we could get breakfast or something."

"I'd like that."

They took the cab to a pancake restaurant in West Hollywood that one of Keller-Marsden's account managers in LA had recommended, making awkward small talk about the weather for the driver's sake.

Once they'd been seated and ordered Virna lit a cigarette and looked off into the middle distance.

"I shouldn't have told you where I'm working."

"It doesn't make any difference. You know I overhead what Dad said when you guys used to fight." Shawn immediately regretted saying that.

"I guess I'm not much of a mother."

"No," intellectually, Shawn knew that his mother was right, but he scrambled for something to make her feel better. "Remember that time we made the snowman in the park?" Virna had taken Shawn to the park during a blizzard to get away from Chet the Christmas he was five.

The waitress brought their coffees, and Virna pulled a bottle of pills out of her purse. She shook one out into her hand, looked at it for a split second, and then took another.

"You seeing a doctor here?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah." She saw him at work, and afterwards at an apartment he kept in Santa Monica, but Shawn didn't need to know that.

"I know a shrink in Philly now if you're interested." Shawn had meant for that to be funny, but it fell flat.

"Jack said you were doing better."

"Yeah, I'm forbidden from seeing dad until my 18th birthday."

"It's probably for the best."

"Have you talked to him?"

"No, every time I talked to him he managed to sweet talk me into coming back, and when that failed he used you," she added bitterly.

"Sorry about that."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Well, the other stuff wasn't your fault."

There was a long silence. Shawn finally spoke up. "I was kidding about the shrink, but if you ever want to come back to Philly, let me know and I'll pay for the airfare."

"Shawn, I don't know if that would be a good idea. There are just too many bad memories for me in Philadelphia."

Shawn stared out the window. "Maybe I'll fly out again next summer."

"I'd like that," Virna lied.


End file.
